Is It Worth My Money?

I was reading a romance story on an app that required me to spend money to continue reading. For weeks, I kept doing it. I would spend a few dollars here and a few dollars there just to unlock several more chapters because I wanted to know what happened next.

Then, today, I read a comment about the story.

Someone wrote:

“Stop stretching the story and get on with it. You're only doing this to get our money.”

That comment stayed with me.

Not because I necessarily agreed with everything the person was saying, but because I realized that I had already spent at least $30 over time just to access a few more chapters of a romance story.

And suddenly I had to ask myself:

Was this actually worth my money?

The app was smart. It understood that people would spend another $5, then another $10, and then perhaps a little more just to continue reading. A few dollars doesn't always feel like much when you're making the purchase. But those small purchases add up.

And the bigger question wasn't even whether the app was making money from me.

Of course it was.

The question was:

What was my money doing for me?

I wasn't investing it. I wasn't putting it toward something important to me. I wasn't using it to build the life I want. I was spending it on temporary satisfaction because I wanted to know what happened in a story.

And eventually, I had to stop.

I deleted the app.

That experience reminded me to step back and remember what is actually important to me.

What do I value most?

And more importantly:

What am I spending my money toward?

Is spending $5 or $10 on something worth it simply because I want it in the moment?

Or is there another question I should be asking?

Is this bringing me closer to the life I desire, or is it distracting me from it?

I started thinking about the things I value: security, stability, a meaningful life, authenticity, and a better way of living.

So I asked myself:

Is the money I'm spending contributing to those things?

If I spend $30 over a couple of weeks on a romance story, is that actually contributing to my goals?

For me, the answer was no.

And that doesn't mean entertainment is bad.

I still want entertainment. I still want to enjoy things. But I realized that I want to become more intentional about what kind of entertainment I give my time and money to.

If I'm going to spend money on entertainment, what kind of entertainment do I want?

If I want entertainment that also stimulates me or teaches me something, what sources could I turn to?

Maybe I'll read a book.

Maybe I'll read memoirs from people whose lives and careers interest me and learn how they got to where they are.

Maybe I'll watch a YouTube channel like Chelsea Putnam's and listen to conversations about creativity, work, identity, and building a life that feels more authentic.

Maybe I'll learn more about someone like Bella Betiato and how she has approached her creative life.

I'm realizing that entertainment doesn't have to be mindless for me to enjoy it.

It can entertain me and leave something with me.

A thought.

A question.

An idea.

A new perspective.

A desire to create.

A reminder of who I want to become.

So now, before I spend money, I want to become better at asking myself:

Is this truly helping me right now?

And:

Will this still feel valuable to me in the future?

The answer won't always be yes.

Sometimes I will spend money simply because I want to enjoy something. And I don't think I need to feel guilty about that.

But I want to know the difference between intentional enjoyment and mindless spending.

I don't want my money disappearing one small purchase at a time into things I barely remember a month later.

I want my money to have somewhere to go.

I want it to support my stability.

I want it to support my creativity.

I want it to help me build.

I want it to contribute to the life I'm working toward.

So, that romance story?

No, thank you.

I'd rather spend my time and money on something that gives me a little more to carry with me when I close the book, turn off the screen, or walk away.

Because I'm learning that the question isn't simply:

“Can I afford this?”

Sometimes the better question is:

“Is this worth it to me?”

And those are two very different questions.